What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Whoever first uttered that must have been thinking about fibroids. Lately, mine seem to be slowly doing me in.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I was diagnosed with four uterine fibroids (benign tumors to the uterus) last summer: 9 cm, 7 cm, 5 cm, and 3 cm respectively. Either I am odd, or my body likes odd numbers, but I digress.
So, I made all of these changes in my life (eating and drinking more cleanly, taking supplements, even exercising), but my doctor was most worried about the anemia caused by the excessive bleeding of my cycle. Unfortunately, after one cycle with Slow Flow (see Fun with Fibroids 2 on my blog for more information), it was not reducing the bleeding enough to improve the anemia much. So, her next option, much to my distaste, was to give me a prescription for oral progesterone.
Now, let me say that I have NEVER taken birth control pills. I am utterly against disrupting the natural hormonal process of my body, and I don’t believe it is necessary to do so to avoid pregnancy. Condoms and having an awareness of the signs my body gives me at various stages in my cycle has always worked well for my husband and I (Please read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler or visit her website, http://www.tcoyf.com for more information on this).
So, you can imagine my negative reaction to taking even a modest amount (100 mg) of progesterone that I should up to 200 mg after a week. I mean, doesn’t hormone therapy and birth control cause cancer in women over 40? Not to worry, she said. The hormones I was going on would be bioidentical, the same as those my body produced. Still, she probably would have received a more favorable reaction from me if she had asked me to drink a herbal tincture of deadly nightshade. Even though it was against everything I felt and believed in, I reluctantly agreed to try out the progesterone because the bleeding seemed to be the biggest problem that needed to be controlled, and she thought it would help.
It didn’t help much, though. In fact, during the first month, I had a period that lasted THREE weeks! I had a normal period (6-8 days for me), a couple of days off, then another 10 days or so of bleeding, at least half of that which was steady, not the blissful little nuisance of a light day, but not the horrendous gushes of a heavy day either. The experience literally drained me. My lips and toenails are more pale than they ever used to be, and six months later, my body still hasn’t entirely recovered.
During this bloodfest, I stopped taking the progesterone and called my doctor, who quickly explained that not taking the hormone wasn’t a good idea and was probably making it worse. Apparently your body doesn’t like it when abruptly change your hormone levels, and it could lead to more bleeding. She said that I could, however, reduce the dose back to 100 mg. Like an obedient little patient, I obeyed. This was new territory for me, and I was definitely not the expert here.
At last the bleeding subsided. Yet, even after several months of progesterone (100 mg), there wasn’t that noticeable of a change in the bleeding. So, my doctor upped the dose back to 200 mg. This did seem to slow my night bleeding, and I was able to get through the night on one heavy long domino pad (http://www.dominopads.com/store.php?crn=212). More on fabulous menstrual products coming in a later blog.
While I enjoyed sleeping through the night on my heavy days, there were other side effects I did not enjoy. The higher dose of progesterone shortened the length of my cycle, and my 28-31 day cycle was now about 22-24 days. Plus, there was often mid-cycle spotting—definitely a new and annoying phenomenon for me. Also, the bloodflow on the heavy days still seemed quite heavy, although I think I am using one less heavy pad per cycle than I used to, which is a bit of progress.
But the worst side effect of all was what the progesterone was doing to my emotions. It was making me numb and apathetic. I mean that I literally did not give a shit about anyone or anything. For those of you who know me, I’m a very passionate person, and I care too much about too many people and too many things. I’m used to riding the wild roller coaster of my emotions, and I welcome the highs as well as the lows. But on the progesterone, I completely flatlined. It was nice to not feel while on the phones at work, but I really missed feeling in other areas of my life. I’m an empath, and feeling is my gift. It tells me what is going on in the world and with other people around me. I trust it more than any of the other five senses because it tells me a truth that goes into the deep parts of my soul. I felt myself slipping away, and I was scared.
To be continued…
Kathleen Simonds, Trauma Recovery Guide 